Chicken Sandwiches

This week my parents decided to go on a vacation up to Canada with no cell phone service and minimal
 internet access. If there was an emergency, I was given a scribbled note left on the dining table with the resorts phone number on it in case anything were to happen. Today, I was boarder line ready to call them, not that there was an emergency or anything, but I was about ready to make these new chickens we had just gotten into chicken sandwiches.

I'll back track a little for you. A while ago, my mom wanted chickens so she convinced my dad to turn our old shed into a chicken coop where she then would take care of and love on these chickens. Since having them they act like little puppies and come running out to us every time we approach them. So as my parents planned out their trip to Canada, they asked me to take care of their chickens. My dad walked me through everything from letting them out in the morning to putting them back in at night. Seems simple enough right? Today I felt as if God was giving me a challenge to my chicken farming skills and I hoped I passed. This morning as I was driving from my sisters house to go let out our chickens, a big burly black bear ran in front of me. I slowed down, rolled down my window and watched the bear run into the woods. I kept driving and as I get home, I see that the chicken coop door was ripped open and corn was everywhere. I sprinted in fear that my mom's chickens were dead. I swung open the other door and counted as fast as I could. 12. Thank you Jesus. All 12 were there. I opened up their little doggy door to let them out and wander around as I sat for the next hour or so cleaning up corn from the ground. I'm not very handy so I didn't know how I was going to fix this door the bear had broken. I called my grandpa and he didn't pick up. I figured he was busy so I waited. I walked out to the mail box to get the mail and lo and behold the same bear runs across our road into the woods. I quick jumped into my car and chased after the bear like a mad race not sure what my next plan of attack would be. Instead I just wailed my car horn hoping that would scare it enough.
Moments later, the construction guy that had been working on remodeling our bathrooms drives into our drive way. I walk over to his truck asking if he could help me fix a door. I was so fortunate that he happened to come to our house that day let alone be a construction guy with all the right tools in his truck. I called the DNR and told him about our bear problem where about an hour later he proceeds to bring a bear trap out to our house and tell me what I need to do if the bear comes back. I felt like I was signing up for the army.

Everything seemed to quiet down. The chickens seemed safe, I was on the lookout for a bear, the corn was locked up and the door was fixed. I thought I would be done saving chickens for the day. Little did I know, a severe thunderstorm warning was issued with quarter sized hail and pouring rain. I thought the chickens would be smart enough to make their way into the coop when it started down pouring. I run out there in the down pour to close them in. I peer over the fence and see two chickens huddled in the corner trying to stay dry under the smallest branch possible. I was soaked and had to figure out a game plan as hail was on its way. I jump in the fenced off area and proceed to chase two chickens in circles until they finally decide to cluck their way into the coop and I slam the door shut. I ran back to the house in the pouring rain as I mumbled under my breath "if these were my chickens, they would be chicken sandwiches by now."

Perfect Timing

When it comes to waiting, I am probably one of thee most impatient people on this planet. I hate waiting for my computer to load, I hate waiting for a phone call or text back, I hate waiting for dinner time, and most of all, I hate waiting for what is yet to come.

I am a person of planning, organizing, creating and thinking strategically of ways I can make the future come faster. I have planned out my four years of college to graduate early. I have looked at companies and businesses to see which ones I can apply for after graduation. I have a book I've written on flowers, dresses and venues for my future wedding. It is never ending. But what is the future? When does the future actually arrive? I spent all of high school wishing I was in college. Now that I am in college, I am wishing I was graduated and starting my career and life. But I have to step back and realize that life has already started and in my past I was awaiting the future and now that the future is here I want to go back and fix my mistakes, start over and plan what I see my future as. But that is not my job. I am not the planner of my life. My Heavenly Father is the only true one that knows the path, both rough and smooth, of what my future may hold. I hope and pray for that perfect timing moment, but what I may see as perfect timing, God's timing may be completely different. I have cried out several times throughout my life "God, when is this going to happen?! When will it come??" Yet he has always replied to me: "Be patient Billie Kay, I will bring it in time."   Sometimes I get frustrated and angry wanting it to be on my time and not His. Although all in all, I have no clue where I will be in two years, five years, let alone ten years. I can plan, organize and lay out my map of where I want to be, but God can always change the blue prints of what I want and direct me on the path of where He wants.

There's a great quote from one of my favorite movies, Lord of the Rings, where Gandalf is speaking to Frodo where he is questioned why he is late where Gandalf replies "A wizard is never late, nor is he early, he arrives precisely when he means to."

Although God is not a wizard, this quote reminds me of how He tends to work. He is never late, nor early, but he arrives precisely when he means to with perfect timing and he will work in ways we will never apprehend, leading us onto the paths of the unexpected.

Proverbs 19:21 "You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail."

Alone Time

I would say that I am an out going person. I like to talk and mingle with people and get to know who they are and how they tick, but this last week, being in a small town surrounded by nothing but trees and a wide open lake, I have felt nothing but alone.

During the school year in St. Paul, it was fun being in the cities, always having something to do and explore. Although there were times that I did need my time to be away from the chatter and sound of cars and go back to my small town in the woods where I felt silence. Don't get me wrong I love being home where all I can hear is birds chirping and boats buzz by on the lake, but I've realized lately how alone I've felt and in a sense, empty.

Last night I sat on my bedroom floor attempting to work on homework for my summer class but failed. My mind was turning and I was filled with emotion, bitterness and loneliness. I cried and picked up my Bible and just asked God "Please Lord, don't let me feel so alone, give me your word and Spirit so I can be filled again!" To be honest, I was hoping for some kind of revival, but I felt nothing and simply sat there. My sister came in around 11:30 and asked if she could sleep in my room. We laid in my bed and chatted like little girls, yet I still felt lonely even when my best friend was sitting next to me. I tossed and turned and didn't feel comfortable and laid awake till about 2:40 a.m. I knew that God would never leave me nor forsake me, but why in these moments did I not feel Him? Why did I feel so uncomfortable and utterly alone? I couldn't understand it.

It's now the next morning and I am currently sitting in the silence of my big empty home, with the coffee pot empty and my textbooks sitting next to me spread open across the table. I looked out the windows and stared at the lake, which mirrored the trees as if the lake were glass and I couldn't help but be reminded of the Lords gentleness.

Sometimes we expect God to appear in miraculous ways, bold and booming voices with lightening and powerful actions, that sometimes we look past the moments when he is there in the quiet and stillness of life with a small quiet whisper, calling out to us.



1 Kings 19:11-12 "The Lord said 'Go stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by'. Then a great and powerful wind came and tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind, there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper."

Happy Heart

Recently I finished up my sophomore year of college. (WOO-HOO!) I'm finally moved home and within the last two weeks, I have finally unpacked the final bin sitting in my room. I've also recently started a new job which God has completely blessed me with when I was distraught about finding a summer job. The kick off to summer has been a pleasant one and I'm happy to be home in my small town in northern Wisconsin. Although, now that life has slowed down slightly I couldn't help but try and keep myself busy like I once did during the school year. 

A couple days ago, I made a To-Do list and taped it to my mirror to clean the house, do the dishes, laundry, mow the lawn, workout and at the end, I put: be happy, stay positive, you are a child of the One True King. A dear friend of mine, towards the end of the school year told me that each morning I should wake up and say to myself "I am a Child of God." I kind of laughed about it when she had told me to say that out loud in the mornings because I already knew that I was a Child of God. I belong to Him and I didn't think I should have to remind myself of that. But lately I decided to take the somewhat of a challenge and say that to myself: I am a Child of God. For the last few mornings I've woken up, I have felt more positive, alive and awake with Christ dwelling in my heart, knowing that if the worst was to happen this very day, I would be okay because I am a Child of the High King. I felt compelled to clean more, work harder and trying to do things for others without being asked. Doing this I've noticed has made my heart happy because I know that God loves me with all that He has and He has simply blessed me with another day to breathe, enjoy the sun and the rain, sip my coffee, and be with the people I love for another day. 

Today I sit in a little coffee shop called "The Hideaway", where I'm sitting in the back corner of the shop tucked away, looking out the window and watching people pass by, writing my blog and drinking a large cup of coffee. Today my heart is happy because I know that it is secure in Christ where He dwells in me. Today we are all Children of the One True King, whether we are five years old, or 55 years old, we can rely on Christ knowing that He will always be there with open arms as if we are children running into our Daddy's arms, where He will always hold us with warm loving hands. 

Thank you Father for another day to breathe, be alive, and worship you. Give us the strength and desire to be positive and serve with whole hearts as working for the Lord not for man, being reminded that we are truly your sons and daughters where we know you will never leave us nor forsake us. 

1 John 3:1 "See what great love the Father has given us so freely, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we truly are..."

Bitter Heart

In less than 4 days I will be in the midst of finals. Unfortunately all my finals are on one day; Monday. At the moment I'm filled with nothing but anger and frustration to the point of just wanting to throw my laptop across the room and say "forget it!" But even in the bitterness and frustration, God can bring peace in the storms.

As I'm writing, I have a massive build up of emotions. I want to cry because I'm stressed. I'm angry because of mistakes and all the things I have yet to finish, (yet I decide to write in my blog instead). I'm bitter towards all the other schools that are already finished. I'm frustrated because I still don't know what I'll be doing for a job as summer rolls around. I want to be outside, on the beach, riding my bike, basking in the sun and not have a worry in life, but I know that isn't a possibility.

I want to scream and cry out to God with all my anger and ask him to take it away and cast it down, but yet I still feel it building up as if I ate too much and I can't swallow. It's difficult to know that in the storms of life with all the stress and anger, that God can bring peace to those who are weary. All we have to do is ask, be still and just be in His presence. Sometimes as humans we get caught up in the busyness of life. Cars drive faster to get to their destination rather than rolling down their window and enjoying the view of the drive. Companies cut back on lunch breaks so their employees get more work done with lesser time to relax and more time to get things done. According to the Journal of American Medicine, only 43 percent of families eat a meal together every day. We eat when its convenient, not having the patience for others to sit down and spend time with us. Our stress can control us and how we live letting it be the reins to how our day can play out. Sometimes we just have to be still and God will bring us rest from our weariness and peace from the bitterness, away from the buzz of our phones, the chatter and the cars whizzing by.

So this week, I challenge you, even if you are in the middle of finals, to just take five, ten minutes or maybe even half an hour to just be still and to be with God. Don't think about what you have to do in an hour from now or even a day let alone a week from now, but just let God's Spirit come and flow through you. He is an all powerful God with the ability to bring the peace and rest when we are in desperate need for it.

Matthew 11:28 "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest."

Mothers

My mom and I have many memories together. The good, the bad and the ugly are all included. We have had our share of fights, heart felt conversations, shopping outings and laughable embarrassing moments, but being now in college and older than what I was in high school, my love for my mom has expanded to a whole new level.

Being a sophomore in college, I am now starting to realize some of the qualities I have in myself that I so clearly got from my mother. One of them would be my ever forgetful memory of having my glasses on my face while searching the house high and low for where I had apparently misplaced them or having my purse on my shoulder when I thought I had left it in a store. Whatever the quality I have received from my mom, I have learned more from her than she probably knows. I am an observer. I learn things by watching and through hands on rather than being instructed what to do, and through the years I have observed my mom and have seen the beautiful things as well as the struggles. What I have picked up over the years is that my mom has a true heart of gold that no other person could replace. She loves on everyone that walks through the door being a servant of the Lord and a warrior of Christ. She also is a mom that knows her facts. Several times my family has thought they knew their trivia, but mom somehow know otherwise. I have watched her read her Bible almost every night growing up as she sat with a pen in hand making marks and reading slowly and diligently. I have seen her cry and hurt when she had lost her own mother and my beautiful grandmother. I have watched her struggle and have a heart for kids that come into her office at school that have a rough home life. I have seen her fight for the impossible and find the beauty in the smallest of things.

I have learned that my mother is a true woman of God, and I strive to be like that someday caring for her children and husband with a beautiful love that is indescribable with words.I have always looked up to my mom, even now that I stand five inches taller and give her my hand-me-downs but she will always stand taller than me with the confidence and passion she portrays.
Happy Mothers Day mom. I look forward to the many talks,walks and memories to come.

Proverbs 31:10, 25-30 "Who can find a virtuous woman? She is far more precious than jewels...Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and loving instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle. Her sons rise up and call her blessed. Her husband also praises her: Many women are capable, but you surpass them all! Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Single Servings

I go to a private Christian University, otherwise known as a bridal college. At my college, there is three categories of people: the singles, the daters, and the marrieds.

Coming into my freshman year of college in 2011, I made a commitment to be single for the entire year and not focus on dating but rather making friends, getting in the grove of college, strengthening my faith with God and attempting my swing at good grades, and let me just say, I did just that. During that entire year, I made awesome friendships, had sporadic outgoings, pulled some pranks, made good grades and grew immensely in my faith with Jesus Christ. Being single during that time had its many ups and downs, but all in all was one of the best decisions I had ever made.
After my year and a half of saying goodbye to dating, I got into a relationship around Christmas of 2012. I was excited and pumped to begin a new journey in the new category of people at Bethel. Although, coming to this bridal college has its consequences as well; the influences. Everyone at my college tends to have a "ring by spring" or get married at a young age, and it is something that can effect you without realizing it's happening. Being a girl that my dream job is planning weddings, it is something I think about often and try not to get caught up in letting my mind wander into what may be in my future.
Not that long ago, my brother-in-law was in the cities and took me out for lunch and kind of gave me a good slap across the head with words. He reminded me not to get caught up in the Bethel relationship living and to just enjoy my dating relationship that I had going for the moment and just have fun and enjoy each others company. I mean he was right, there is no need to get serious so fast, but just enjoy the new stages of life as they come which was something that needed to be said.
Tonight I talked with a friend where she told me her struggles with singleness and had recently attended a friends wedding that had placed the category of singleness heavy on her shoulders. I couldn't help but relate with how difficult singleness was when I was in that category but all the good things I had learned and grew from that time.



This last weekend, my sister got engaged to the man of her dreams and I couldn't be more happy for her and her fiance as well as gaining a new brother. Everything about their engagement was beautiful including the ring.
Within a weekend, I was reminded of so many levels of relationships. The season of singleness, the dating and building season and the season of engagement and marriage to what can be for the rest of your life. I realized that whatever stage you are in at the moment to just enjoy it and ultimately give praise to the One who has given you this time and the life to enjoy these seasons of joy and trial. Don't get discouraged or fret that you are single, because in good time, God will bring that significant other. Don't get frustrated if you are dating and don't have a ring yet, because that should be a time for growth, learning and getting to know the person you are with. Don't be anxious when you finally have that ring moving towards your wedding, but embrace the time of planning and being with your significant other in a whole new level and meaning of a relationship. And when you're married, love each other unconditionally, serve one another humbly, care for each other deeply and continue to praise our Father above just as you have been for all the other stages of life.

Ephesians 4:2 "with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love."